


What Does It Do?

by completelyhopeless



Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comment Fic, Community: comment_fic, F/M, Flirting, Gen, Humor, hints of Tony/Pepper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-07 00:31:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3154103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony wants to know what the device at Wayne Enterprises does. He started by annoying Pepper about it, but he really shouldn't have insulted Dick before asking him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Does It Do?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Evil_Little_Dog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Little_Dog/gifts).



> For the prompt: _[MCU, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts, some version of this:](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/587717.html?thread=81684421#t81684421)_  
>  _Homer: Marge, what does it do?_
> 
> _Marge: It doesn't do anything._
> 
> _Homer: Marge, really, what does it do?_
> 
> _Marge: Whatever it does, it's doing it right now._

* * *

“Pepper, what does it do?”

She looked at the strange cylinder taking up most of the lobby of Wayne Industries, checking her watch again as she tried not to tap her foot impatiently. That receptionist should have been back by now. They had an appointment. They were supposed to have a guided tour. If someone didn't get here soon, Tony was going to drive her crazy. She was already half there on any given day. “It doesn't do anything.”

He shook his head. “Impossible. No one puts something _that_ big in their lobby without a purpose. What does it do?”

“Whatever it does, it's doing it right now.”

“But Pepper—”

“You,” she called out, startling a young man that had just walked in the front doors. “You work here, don't you?”

“Um, actually, I don't, so—”

“But you're Dick Grayson. The Dick Grayson that was adopted by Bruce Wayne and made his heir,” Tony said, pointing his phone at the man when he tried to protest. “See? Right there. All the press on Wayne's publicity stunt.”

Grayson's mouth thinned into a line. “Is there something you need?”

“I apologize. We were supposed to have a meeting with Mr. Wayne and before that a guided tour of the building, but after we told them why we were here, we haven't seen anyone. It has been,” she glanced at her watch, “forty-nine minutes. Tony is rather stir crazy and we do have to be in New York in an hour—”

“You can tell us what that does, right?”

Grayson blinked, looking over at the device. “I have no idea. That's really not my department. I don't have a department. Lucius would know, maybe—”

“You're trying to pawn us off.”

“Tony—”

“What kind of heir doesn't know anything about his company?”

“What kind of genius goes around sleeping with women all around the world when he has a gorgeous redhead standing right beside him?” Grayson asked, and Pepper felt herself blushing. “If it were me, all I'd care about was her.”

“You're like half her age, kid.”

“I'd be more of a man about it than you,” Grayson said, and Pepper fought a smile. “Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go see Lucius. I will send him down when I'm done.”

“All I asked was what that does.”

Grayson sighed. “If you really want to know what that does—it's a bomb.”

“A bomb?”

“What can I say? Bruce is sentimental about the oddest things,” Grayson said, shrugging. He held out a hand. “Miss Potts, if you'd like to come with me, I think I can show you a few things around here. Mostly boring, none of the top secret stuff, but it might amuse you.”

“Wait. I'm the one that had the appointment with Bruce Wayne—”

“Do I look like Bruce Wayne to you?” Grayson asked, laughing. “Don't bother. I'm not him. You two have fun. I'm stealing your secretary. Oh, and don't touch the ice cream maker.”

“The what?”

Grayson pointed to the same device that Tony was so fascinated by, smiling. “The company has ice cream socials every third Friday of the month. Bruce got tired of the order being too small or not on time, so he decided to make his own ice cream on site.”

“You're kidding.”

“It's a very effective way of stopping corporate espionage. The ice cream is laced with something that makes people lose their short term memory, so they don't know what they were working on.”

“That is actually a brilliant idea,” Tony began, but Pepper shook her head.

“Absolutely not. You are not drugging our employees. He was joking, and it is irresponsible of you to even consider the idea. Please tell him it's not a bomb or a toxic ice cream maker,” she said, and then added. “Now.”

“It's not.”

Tony nodded. “Right. So, what is it?”

Grayson looked at her. “Should I tell him?” 

“You're asking me?” She glanced toward Tony and smiled as she took Grayson's arm. “Do you have any idea what it will do to him _not_ knowing what it does?”

“No, but I bet you do and you'll love every minute of it.”

She smiled. “I just might.”

**Author's Note:**

> As soon as the idea of the device in question being at Wayne Enterprises became part of this, it kind of all went downhill from there. Dick came in, and he kind of highjacked things a little. That, I fear, is because of a conversation I had with CaraLee about the Batfamily and the Avengers family and how they'd get along. We both agreed that Dick would flirt up Pepper because she's a redhead but that it would be platonic and Pepper would adopt him as a nephew or a younger brother and they'd commiserate over their families. So that's what was in the back of my mind as this one came about. I really do like when these universes collide.
> 
> And I was tempted to make this circus birds, too, but while it's open for that, it could be some other universe.
> 
> Because, apparently, I like writing these characters meeting and interacting.


End file.
